Urgghh.. He's really pissed me off..

When Ijah told me the news, I was so shocked. Without hesitation, I uttered the kalimah,

Innalillah wa inna ilaihi raji'un...

One of my primary's teacher had died.

I feel so upset for a moment and tried to recall the memories with her, when suddenly I got mad.

I mad at him. That teacher's son. A friend of mine in the primary school.

Last year, Yogadass telling me that this teacher having a cancer. Yogadass is my secondary school's friend, also my primary school's friend. We attended the same school.

When I knew the news, I prayed that I hope she'll be fine. Then, coincidentally, I found his son on Friendster, the old friend of primary school.. I asked him about his mother, but he never reply. I don't know why. But, I want to know what my teacher's condition at that time.

I don't give up. I even added him in my ym list, and I asked the same question. He didn't reply. Well, seeing that, I think maybe that question is a sensitive question. Maybe he doesn't want people to know about his mother's condition. Well, that's a maybe...

So, i don't want to question him anymore. But still, I care for that teacher. She teaches me back then. Disappointingly, I forgot about her...

Then, suddenly she died. After a year I knew she had a cancer, after a year I don't know her latest condition, she died.

I even cried in my prayer. Why didn't he tell me about her condition? If I know that she's dying, I could pray for her. That the least I can do over the knowledge she gave to me!

Ahh.. I will never knew the answer.

I have calmed myself now. I know that I shouldn't blame him. I know. Well, for that person, I'm sorry if I get mad to you. I just... feel disappointed, because I couldn't return her favor for teaching me when she's alive, not even a single prayer.

I don't know that the cancer will bring death...

Now,what I can do, is to pray for her safety and comfort in the day hereafter.

Hope Allah bless you teacher Marsila for your kindness. Al-Fatihah.