Everything was smooth until Tuesday.
Some people gang up on me.
On something they assumed by themselves.
Not bothered to ask me why directly on my face,
Only perception in their minds.
Meeting them, a dull feeling appeared.
I hate myself for not feeling like what Rasulullah feel when he was hurt.
Like what happened in Taif.
One issue came out.
I tried to give my opinion on the issue.
And, the comments,
Made me looks like I'm the bad person.
Now I know.
These are the risks I have to take,
As the exchange of being outspoken.
As the exchange of "For things to change, I have to change first".
To let out what's in our mind,
To say whatever things we feel,
To do what Allah ask us to do.
Tears kept flowing.
Days by days.
I hate it when I suddenly realize how fragile I am.
How soft my heart was when confronted challenges.
I've never be fond of crying.
Since when did I became so soft?
Since when did I cried for something that happens to me?
Since when did I became so weak??
Or, is it supposedly a natural thing?
This is it.
This might be one of the way for Allah to speak to me.
He knows I'm rarely cried these days, especially to Him.
So He gave me these challenges,
Making me shed my tears,
To remember Him.
To remember that He is there with me..