I was really taken aback.. I was really sad. The saddest I ever felt in my life until now.. It felt like I don't want to live here, among 'them'.. I want to go back, back to the life I wanted.. I don't want to live in a life that is full of ignorance..AGAIN! This is ENOUGH!
For three straight days, I cried. I cried in my sleep, cried in my shower,cried in my prayer... I cannot stand it.. People looking at me as if I'm a weird creature! What's so weird to wear a long t-shirt, a long scarf..? Haven't you seen one before? Hmmphh..
Is it necessary to mock me, behind my back especially? If you have something disturbing you about me, just ask me! You don't have to keep it to yourself and talk behind my back with others.. That was one of the shameful thing to do!
Why I'm wearing scarf in dorm, why I'm wearing my scarf like that, why I like wearing loose shirt.. Just ask me! I can explain it, if you want to hear..
But, the most disappointing thing I ever felt is, how little the number of muslim girl do the prayer.. It's like..astagfirullah.. My first dorm mates before we got separated according to the Kompeni, really made me cried.. It's like, am I the one who do the prayer? I know I have to think nice, maybe they're having menstruation or something, but! Why all of them? Well, maybe.. Okay2.. I just have to husnuzon... Maybe all of them have it at the same time.. Okay2.. think nice..
Okay, that's the culture shock for me..And, it was really shocking.. (deep sigh...)